Winter Vacation, December 2008

Thursday, December 11, 2008 was the last day of my vacation. Depressing as it is to go back to the grind, I noticed a few things. It started at 5 am with my (3) alarm clocks set to make sure I did not miss the shuttle back home, as well as had a little time for a workout and last minute stops. The Espresso machine was prepped in my hotel suite, I was 95% of the way packed and the plan of execution was to not rush, pick up gifts and souvenirs to remember my stay, and make the excursion home. Unfortunately the weather was pretty brutal on this particular day, wind and rain but you can't have warm weather all of the time. The view from my hotel on the final day there was a beauty, though I you opinion vs. mine may differ. The walk from my room to the beach was long for some reason today. Either the anticipation of getting to a destination, or was it the sadness that all of this was coming to an end? The resort I stayed at listed the following outdoor conditions on the this day:

Temperature: 45
Water Temperature 39
Wind: From NNE at 29 mph
Humidity: 90%
Pressure: 29.97 in.
Dew Point: 45°F
Visibility: 9.0 miles

Now to most people in the country, this is not "vacation" weather. Here is the punch in the sternum: The film of the pictures taken were damaged due to the outdoor climate on the last day. You, as readers, will have to paint the picture mentally as I tell the story.....When needed, refer back to the chart above and listen closely below.

So I decide to go to the beach to run, maybe sweat out the demons from the night before, and check out the water. From where I was standing, the beach was empty, I mean borderline desolate, which was fine with me as it would make it easier to leave, or so I thought. I placed my things near the door, made sure I had the room key, said good morning to a member of the hotel staff, and away I went. So began my morning walk. I will admit it, I mumbled a few expletives, then said some more, reached the top of the beach, took off my outerwear, then said %^$^ &*%&^ and ran towards the water. The conditions were extreme, sun nowhere to be found, temperatures not pleasant, and to add to it, it is high tide, which is flushing 100 times the amount of broken sea shelves under my feet. It went from last day of vacation to Man vs Nature, in the war of ego, strength and survival. HOW did I let this happen? Yes, I have an extremely competitive nature, but why now? I push the limits and now instead of a relaxing walk, healthy run, I am instead challenging myself beyond the norm.

The current was confusing, though it meant nothing as it was 7:34 am in the morning, and the rain and wind almost collected the salt of the Atlantic and fed it to me so the water below was only one of the variables I was dealing with. And not a feeding like the Lady and Tramp, or a mother feeding a child; more like the neighborhood bully feeding you an earthworm. As I hit the water, initially, my legs felt heavy. My torso felt like it turned to stone, transforming into a shield of armor. Now I am 6' ft tall, approximately 205 lbs. I quickly realize that I am NO match, well, partially at the mercy of, as well as the product of, my current environment.

The air was, well, pure. But not like a new car smell, or in the sense of a clean, sterilized condition. It was more along the lines of "cleansing." Now cleansing is not always gentle, supportive, or pleasant. Scrubbing the rust off an antique car, cleaning out a filthy garage, stripping a piece of furniture, or even bathing a child who, well, has had a better appearance, whatever. Just like beating the crap out of a friend or a stranger who confronts you, because they have it coming, whether you are on the delivering or receiving end of the said beat down, it is a necessary evil. Bottom line. The strong survive, we all know this. Necessary procedure to reach beauty, right? So I took an extremely deep breath, as if I didn't wanted to miss anything, and kept moving. I am wearing a bathing suit, though on this day a surfer's wet suit would have been more appropriate. For those (20) minutes or so, I was not thinking about things I needed to complete, work, writing checks, nothing. This is partially as my body and mind went in to survival mode: the conditions around me forced this to happen though I did adapt and enjoyed. Though, to quote a good friend of mine that was raised at the beach, I was performing a T.B.S. (Total Body Submersion). Today was different from any other swim in the ocean though. IT IS DECEMBER. My feet were not cold, they were frozen. The rest of my body adapted, and as mentioned earlier, I was not going down without a fight. This bullying opponent, at this point in time, was going to take his lumps. And I was the one to deliver it.

So it's time to go back to the hotel, get breakfast, and get on the road. So I start to get dressed, collect my things, and begin the walk back to my suite. Now, I have a confession to make. I was not lying, though rather just bending the truth. Read on..

I am not in Palm Beach, FL, Ocean City, Maryland, Mexico or on any island, or even on vacation at all. I am in Atlantic City, NJ, on New Jersey Avenue/States Avenue. I have been here many times before. Just never in December. On the aforementioned day, I woke up in my bed in Marl ton, NJ at 5 am, showered, got dressed and got in my car and hit the road by 5:50 am. Due to the weather the normal 45 minute ride took about 1 hour and 15. My trip did not begin in my hotel room. There was no hotel room. The equivalent was a Styrofoam board with a Nike bag on top of it once I reached the beach. Resort? I created my own resort, mentally. Was my reason for going for a workout any different? Nope. The only difference is that I didn't have the luxury of already being there. Did I challenge my self-discipline of committing to something and doing it? Yes. I did not walk out my door, my suite, or my hotel. I had to work for this one. Now, ALL of the conditions above occurred and existed. Now what you may or may not have been waiting for.....

What the %^&* does all of this mean? The author is an adrenaline-fueled lunatic? No. (Well maybe a little). Am I suggesting sprint down Route 70 at 2 am for a better workout? Not even close. Confront the kid who took your lunch money 25 years ago? No.(Well, if it makes you feel better, sure, take a swing at him or her). Control what makes you a stronger man or woman. Yes, show some type of "abandon" at some point. Society peppers us with their view of the following: what makes us happy, what makes us sad, what says we are successful, what makes us attractive, what makes us intelligent, who we date, why we date them, who we should marry, who we should divorce, where we should vacation, what we buy, what we sell, what we wear, where we work, who we associate and socialize with, right down to what makes us tick, and MOST importantly, what gives us strength and eventually what makes us passionate. Say those (2) words, slowly and deliberately. Strength. Passion. Now we all know, by definition, the meaning of these words. Suggestion? Give those two words your OWN definition. Strength: "Strength, when used as a noun, is define by durability; determination; resolve; power; intensity; force. As we know it can be physical, mental, or emotional.. Climbing the steps of the Art Museum, winning a Pulitzer, promotion with your company, following a dream with a realistic and effective business plan, makes no difference. Approach that certain someone that, even without knowing them personally, makes your clock tick. Make it happen. Breaking away from a a controlling family member, friend or significant other or any other bad influence, as it is not healthy? Do it. Passion: "Passion is defined as an entire range of strong feelings or emotions, especially those of love, lust, heat, rage, mania and sexual desire." Wow. that is saying something. Think very hard about what gives you strength as well as activities that initiate, trigger and fuel it. Next, think about what do you have passion about? What makes you feel, and I mean FEEL, passionate? Passion can motivate you, inspire you, and to refer to above, strengthen you. It also can drive you insane but the pros outweigh the cons. Live every day as if there is no tomorrow. Live with no regret. Now do you need to do an impromptu polar bear swim (2) weeks before Christmas? No. The story above is one of the things that, for (20) minutes of my life, I had complete control over and in that short period of time, MANY things became clear. What I love, who I love, what has shaped the present out of my past, what the future holds, and where I am going. What my definition and trigger is for Strength and Pssion. And on a daily basis, starting NOW, YOU do the things that help YOU define Strength and Passion. Why? Because EVERYTHING you do do from this day forward is based upon those two words. Plain and simple. STRENGTH. PASSION. Until next time.. JMF