Conversation with A Dog February 2009

ME: What's happening Dog?
DOG: You're looking at it.


ME: Don't feel like going for a run. You wanna go with me?
DOG: Something in my brain, beyond my control, makes me chase a stick and return it to you. EVERY time. What do you think big smart human?

ME: Fair enough. You hungry?
DOG: Yes. Have I ever turned away food? I eat everything.

ME: You are in a shitty mood. What's your problem?
DOG: When you leave, you put me in a cage, thinking I will pee or otherwise, chew on inanimate objects, or behave in a certain way that you don't approve. You outta videotape yourself coming home from a night on the town you hypocrite. Oh, and not real fond of the food you chose this time.

ME: Point taken. Now as I am bigger and smarter than you than you, so why don't you check that ego at the door, pooch.
DOG: You had to pull the Human Card, didn't you?

ME: Yep. Next time you are about to sh#t yourself, why don't you let yourself out?
DOG: Alright, alright, I'll change my attitude.

ME: Thank you.
DOG: Tell me something, what's going on with you?

ME: Be more specific.
DOG: Well, work, play, life, you know, the big picture of your existence.

ME: Oh. All is good. Falling in place, piece by piece. Always new things and challenges on the horizon but it is what it is. It is a journey that tests and strengthens the soul.
DOG: Alright Yoda, you think you can talk on a less spiritual level? It's just you and me here, you know.

ME: You asked a question. I answered. Why don't you try to type on the computer?
DOG: Second jab at me based on you being human.

ME: Alright, I take that back.
DOG: @#$%^&*

ME: Back to your question. Career, check. House, check. Health, Check. Relationships, umm, we need a bottle of Whiskey, and a weekend.
DOG: I have time. What seems to be the problem?

ME: No problems, just complicated. You see what goes on. What is your take on things?
DOG: I growl and bark at what you humans call P#ssy, hump just about everything, and cannot commit due to a short attention span. Do you really think I am an authority on this type of thing?

ME: I'm running out of opinions here.
DOG: OK. Here goes. (Dog steps onto chair for added effect)
.....You had a change to your career, health, body, mind, soul, address, and overall outlook on life and the future. Timing may be wrong, and you know what I'm talking about. Just let things happen. You are rushing and trying to force things. Try it sometime.

ME: You are pretty smart. Why haven't we had this conversation before?
DOG: Because, in contradiction to some of your previous blog postings, you didn't think I brought anything to the table. Oh, and sometimes I sniff my own poop.

ME: Good call. I won't overlook your opinion anymore.
DOG: Finally you see what I have to offer. Now take it day to day, planning for the future, stop sweating the small stuff, surround yourself with good people, and live your life.

ME: Thanks Dog. You are alright.
DOG: You're welcome. Now let's go grab that drink we talked about.

ME: Good idea. Let me grab my keys.
DOG: Grab your wallet too. No place for me to carry a wallet.

JMF February 2009..........