Thursday, December 11, 2008 was the last day of my vacation. Depressing as it is to go back to the grind, I noticed a few things. It started at 5 am with my (3) alarm clocks set to make sure I did not miss the shuttle back home, as well as had a little time for a workout and last minute stops. The Espresso machine was prepped in my hotel suite, I was 95% of the way packed and the plan of execution was to not rush, pick up gifts and souvenirs to remember my stay, and make the excursion home. Unfortunately the weather was pretty brutal on this particular day, wind and rain but you can't have warm weather all of the time. The view from my hotel on the final day there was a beauty, though I you opinion vs. mine may differ. The walk from my room to the beach was long for some reason today. Either the anticipation of getting to a destination, or was it the sadness that all of this was coming to an end? The resort I stayed at listed the following outdoor conditions on the this day:
Temperature: 45
Water Temperature 39
Wind: From NNE at 29 mph
Humidity: 90%
Pressure: 29.97 in.
Dew Point: 45°F
Visibility: 9.0 miles
Now to most people in the country, this is not "vacation" weather. Here is the punch in the sternum: The film of the pictures taken were damaged due to the outdoor climate on the last day. You, as readers, will have to paint the picture mentally as I tell the story.....When needed, refer back to the chart above and listen closely below.
So I decide to go to the beach to run, maybe sweat out the demons from the night before, and check out the water. From where I was standing, the beach was empty, I mean borderline desolate, which was fine with me as it would make it easier to leave, or so I thought. I placed my things near the door, made sure I had the room key, said good morning to a member of the hotel staff, and away I went. So began my morning walk. I will admit it, I mumbled a few expletives, then said some more, reached the top of the beach, took off my outerwear, then said %^$^ &*%&^ and ran towards the water. The conditions were extreme, sun nowhere to be found, temperatures not pleasant, and to add to it, it is high tide, which is flushing 100 times the amount of broken sea shelves under my feet. It went from last day of vacation to Man vs Nature, in the war of ego, strength and survival. HOW did I let this happen? Yes, I have an extremely competitive nature, but why now? I push the limits and now instead of a relaxing walk, healthy run, I am instead challenging myself beyond the norm.
The current was confusing, though it meant nothing as it was 7:34 am in the morning, and the rain and wind almost collected the salt of the Atlantic and fed it to me so the water below was only one of the variables I was dealing with. And not a feeding like the Lady and Tramp, or a mother feeding a child; more like the neighborhood bully feeding you an earthworm. As I hit the water, initially, my legs felt heavy. My torso felt like it turned to stone, transforming into a shield of armor. Now I am 6' ft tall, approximately 205 lbs. I quickly realize that I am NO match, well, partially at the mercy of, as well as the product of, my current environment.
The air was, well, pure. But not like a new car smell, or in the sense of a clean, sterilized condition. It was more along the lines of "cleansing." Now cleansing is not always gentle, supportive, or pleasant. Scrubbing the rust off an antique car, cleaning out a filthy garage, stripping a piece of furniture, or even bathing a child who, well, has had a better appearance, whatever. Just like beating the crap out of a friend or a stranger who confronts you, because they have it coming, whether you are on the delivering or receiving end of the said beat down, it is a necessary evil. Bottom line. The strong survive, we all know this. Necessary procedure to reach beauty, right? So I took an extremely deep breath, as if I didn't wanted to miss anything, and kept moving. I am wearing a bathing suit, though on this day a surfer's wet suit would have been more appropriate. For those (20) minutes or so, I was not thinking about things I needed to complete, work, writing checks, nothing. This is partially as my body and mind went in to survival mode: the conditions around me forced this to happen though I did adapt and enjoyed. Though, to quote a good friend of mine that was raised at the beach, I was performing a T.B.S. (Total Body Submersion). Today was different from any other swim in the ocean though. IT IS DECEMBER. My feet were not cold, they were frozen. The rest of my body adapted, and as mentioned earlier, I was not going down without a fight. This bullying opponent, at this point in time, was going to take his lumps. And I was the one to deliver it.
So it's time to go back to the hotel, get breakfast, and get on the road. So I start to get dressed, collect my things, and begin the walk back to my suite. Now, I have a confession to make. I was not lying, though rather just bending the truth. Read on..
I am not in Palm Beach, FL, Ocean City, Maryland, Mexico or on any island, or even on vacation at all. I am in Atlantic City, NJ, on New Jersey Avenue/States Avenue. I have been here many times before. Just never in December. On the aforementioned day, I woke up in my bed in Marl ton, NJ at 5 am, showered, got dressed and got in my car and hit the road by 5:50 am. Due to the weather the normal 45 minute ride took about 1 hour and 15. My trip did not begin in my hotel room. There was no hotel room. The equivalent was a Styrofoam board with a Nike bag on top of it once I reached the beach. Resort? I created my own resort, mentally. Was my reason for going for a workout any different? Nope. The only difference is that I didn't have the luxury of already being there. Did I challenge my self-discipline of committing to something and doing it? Yes. I did not walk out my door, my suite, or my hotel. I had to work for this one. Now, ALL of the conditions above occurred and existed. Now what you may or may not have been waiting for.....
What the %^&* does all of this mean? The author is an adrenaline-fueled lunatic? No. (Well maybe a little). Am I suggesting sprint down Route 70 at 2 am for a better workout? Not even close. Confront the kid who took your lunch money 25 years ago? No.(Well, if it makes you feel better, sure, take a swing at him or her). Control what makes you a stronger man or woman. Yes, show some type of "abandon" at some point. Society peppers us with their view of the following: what makes us happy, what makes us sad, what says we are successful, what makes us attractive, what makes us intelligent, who we date, why we date them, who we should marry, who we should divorce, where we should vacation, what we buy, what we sell, what we wear, where we work, who we associate and socialize with, right down to what makes us tick, and MOST importantly, what gives us strength and eventually what makes us passionate. Say those (2) words, slowly and deliberately. Strength. Passion. Now we all know, by definition, the meaning of these words. Suggestion? Give those two words your OWN definition. Strength: "Strength, when used as a noun, is define by durability; determination; resolve; power; intensity; force. As we know it can be physical, mental, or emotional.. Climbing the steps of the Art Museum, winning a Pulitzer, promotion with your company, following a dream with a realistic and effective business plan, makes no difference. Approach that certain someone that, even without knowing them personally, makes your clock tick. Make it happen. Breaking away from a a controlling family member, friend or significant other or any other bad influence, as it is not healthy? Do it. Passion: "Passion is defined as an entire range of strong feelings or emotions, especially those of love, lust, heat, rage, mania and sexual desire." Wow. that is saying something. Think very hard about what gives you strength as well as activities that initiate, trigger and fuel it. Next, think about what do you have passion about? What makes you feel, and I mean FEEL, passionate? Passion can motivate you, inspire you, and to refer to above, strengthen you. It also can drive you insane but the pros outweigh the cons. Live every day as if there is no tomorrow. Live with no regret. Now do you need to do an impromptu polar bear swim (2) weeks before Christmas? No. The story above is one of the things that, for (20) minutes of my life, I had complete control over and in that short period of time, MANY things became clear. What I love, who I love, what has shaped the present out of my past, what the future holds, and where I am going. What my definition and trigger is for Strength and Pssion. And on a daily basis, starting NOW, YOU do the things that help YOU define Strength and Passion. Why? Because EVERYTHING you do do from this day forward is based upon those two words. Plain and simple. STRENGTH. PASSION. Until next time.. JMF
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
Where the *$%^ is the warmth of the sun?
HERE COMES THE SUN
Many people ask me during the summer months, which seems way behind us or to far in front of us, how my complexion seems to go from winter pale to a brown almost overnight. I will start by saying that I just woke up this way, or on my way to work I got caught in a sprinkler that sprayed caramel everywhere, or if I am feeling precocious I will tell them that went to a gala at the Hawaiian Tropic factory and after too much Grey Goose, I awoke with a headache and a killer tan. All kidding aside, I think a combination of being Italian and Native American and other balancing heritages, has given me an exponential advantage to the rest of the sun-worshipping world. Summertime has always been my favorite of the seasons as I spent the majority of my adolescent summers either down the shore visiting my mother’s side of the family or in the Poconos on the lake practicing my jump shot (not in the lake, that would just be ridiclous) and learning how to fish from my father and grandfather. Day 1: a little pink, Day 2: a little burnt, Day 3: I am George Hamilton’s long lost son. Aside from the memories of days gone by, I always felt that a tan made you feel healthier and alive. Regardless of your height, weight, age or physical attributes, everyone looks better and healthier with a tan. Whether you prefer the natural sunlight, the inside of a tanning bed or spray tan, or opt for SPF 800, I have always associated the olive ewe that comes from moderate sun exposure as an indicator that the individual wearing that tan prefers the sunlight to the shade, the outdoors to the indoors. Even beyond that, when I was younger, whenever I saw a man or a woman with a tan, say, in the middle of January in Pennsylvania where I was raised, that they were wealthy or not from the area. Why you ask regarding the first assumption? Because coming from middle class means, I did not travel much to a tropical destination if a snow shovel or rock salt had been purchased within the last (3)-(6) months. Ahh, the workings of the mind of a teenager.
Now as time progressed there has been a significant concern with the potential damages of overexposure to the sun. I completely agree, understand and heed the word of the importance of preparation as well as moderation. I do remember the summer when I was 21 or 22, and being offered my first job as a manual laborer. How bad could it be? I was athletic growing up, and being that I was extremely skinny at the time, I had seen the inside of a weight room during my freshman year of college. Now here’s the kicker; I would be employed by a local contractor who’s specialty was, you may or may not have guessed it, roofing. Yep, roofing, starting at the end of May and finishing at the end of September. I actually met the guy in a local gym and after becoming friendly with him mentioned I was looking for work for the summer. He explained that he had a small roofing outfit (business not Levis overalls and work boots) and had landed consistent jobs during the upcoming summer months. He will remain nameless though he had finished undergrad and was preparing financially for medical school; to be a neurosurgeon. Yes, a neurosurgeon. Nail gun above ground level to scrubs in the operating room? I do not think I have ever met a person that pulled that transition off. (to his credit he did complete medical school and is currently exactly where he said he would be.) I remember clearly the first day work. On the Main Line in PA we needed to tear off the existing shingle, remove all tar paper and nails and if we had time begin to lay the waterproofing material. The day started around 6:30 am with coffee and an overview of the day. We arrive at the job and then given the instruction on where to start; take the current roof off and through in the dumpster. It was like Christmas morning with the unadulterated passion of unwrapping a wrapped present that you think you know the contents of as a child. Then it happened. The sun came out strong. Now at the time I consciously or as an infant, had been present for 7,560 sunrises (just an estimate folks). Now this particular one was different as now I am three stories closer to it and within (2) hours is now my bully on the schoolyard. “Keeping working I say. The pay is good, the tan will give me the beach advantage, I am keeping in shape…..And if I quit I will NEVER hear the end of it within the confines of my local gym.” Lunch comes and goes. I have lost three lbs of water weight, my hands are cut up, and mentally I am worn, though quitting time should be by four. Then the weather report says that precipitation may cause rain tomorrow. A large tarp needs to be spread over the roof, and to save us the time if we lose a day tomorrow, we will be carrying (80) lb bags of shingles up to the lower portion of the roof’s surface. Being a statuesque 158 lbs this is just over 50% of my body weight. Thirty-eight of them. Up the ladder and returning to the ground for more. We work until 7:40 pm then go the local Wawa for a sandwich. Fast forward to getting home: After I remove my work gear, I fall asleep, sitting up in my parent’s TV room, with the aforementioned lunch meat delicacy dangling from my right hand. Years later we got together at my house and laughed about that summer. My employer admitted that the (14) hour day was a test to see if I would crack from fatigue. That day almost got the best of me but paved the road for endurance in the future. Bottom line: Sun 1 Me 0. From that day forward I had a new respect for the sun. Now having opened up to you regarding my days of laboring, the parallel of me and the sun goes much deeper.
Thought the narrative above describes the physical affects of the great ball of fire in the sky, my connection is different. From the days at my grandfather’s river-side home, to the rooftops of PA, up until this day it is not the exposure that sets my mental tone for my view of sunlight. It is knowledge that the summer months will soon be upon us. The outdoors now, at least temporarily, will be the backdrop for your weekly schedule. It is daylight for less time right now which means when the work day is over, your day feels like it is over. Whether it’s daylight playtime with your children, your co-ed softball league where you will get to see what’s her name from your office, or just feeling like with the list of (15) tasks that you need to accomplish before the day is done, the sun, during that season, allows all of these simple pleasures. Now, there is the “post-shower shiver” dance as I like to call it. You are getting ready for work, for some of us the sun may not be up at the time, and stepping from the bathroom to the chilly outside of that room, and you are telling yourself “Tonight is the night I tell my husband we are moving to Florida.” For the men in the audience, myself included, the comparable shiver is when we have just shaven our face, and before we get dressed we step out to clear off the car of the winter mess, the wind hits us like Oscar De La Hoya’s left jab. Ouch, amongst other responses. Only 172 more days of this until the summer months are upon us.
Now this is not to say there are not drawbacks to the much anticipated warmer months. Though I no longer wear a suit to work everyday, there was a time when I did. When I used to get into the car at lunch if I need to leave my office for any reason, before the AC has it’s chance to do it’s job, that one bead of sweat that hits the starch of your collar reminds me to respect the sun. Now ladies I did not say that you have it easy during these glorious months, regardless of the attire you wear to work. “You don’t understand Joe, the humidity has turned my hair into the static electricity exhibit at Philadelphia’s Please Touch Museum.” I have (2) sisters, a mother, and female friends that have explained the affects on humidity on turning a Hair-Do into the dreaded Hair-Don’t. And that’s all I have to say about that……………………………….
As we head into the next few months, though the above story traveled through memories as well as associations of this time of year, one thing remains clear. Regardless of the pros as well as cons of the summer months, the local or the shore traffic that seems unbearable, waiting for the warmer weather of summer in (6) months, there is no other season that makes me feel more alive. It could be the warmer temperature, or it could be the planned vacation or the weekend getaway with your significant other as well as your family that makes you yearn for the summer. It could also be just activities that you do during this time. A barbeque with your neighbors, your son or daughters athletics, beach, mountains or your own backyard, either way the heat from above provides the hours of the day that allows all of us the almost 30 hour day that we all wish so our respective to-do lists are actually mastered. Right now it seems like that sunlight is around us for (90) minutes, the remainder is wind-chill, frost, and being sleepy due to fall depression.
From this day forward let us all remember that regardless of the temperature on our internal thermostats, or whether it is now in December or the longest week of daylight come summertime, (hot or cold) or on the dashboard in front of us, the hours of daylight should never dictate what we make time for. Hug your children harder, wave at your neighbor longer, or love someone or something more deliberately, but most importantly make the most of every second you have, regardless of the environment around you.
Just do it.........
Many people ask me during the summer months, which seems way behind us or to far in front of us, how my complexion seems to go from winter pale to a brown almost overnight. I will start by saying that I just woke up this way, or on my way to work I got caught in a sprinkler that sprayed caramel everywhere, or if I am feeling precocious I will tell them that went to a gala at the Hawaiian Tropic factory and after too much Grey Goose, I awoke with a headache and a killer tan. All kidding aside, I think a combination of being Italian and Native American and other balancing heritages, has given me an exponential advantage to the rest of the sun-worshipping world. Summertime has always been my favorite of the seasons as I spent the majority of my adolescent summers either down the shore visiting my mother’s side of the family or in the Poconos on the lake practicing my jump shot (not in the lake, that would just be ridiclous) and learning how to fish from my father and grandfather. Day 1: a little pink, Day 2: a little burnt, Day 3: I am George Hamilton’s long lost son. Aside from the memories of days gone by, I always felt that a tan made you feel healthier and alive. Regardless of your height, weight, age or physical attributes, everyone looks better and healthier with a tan. Whether you prefer the natural sunlight, the inside of a tanning bed or spray tan, or opt for SPF 800, I have always associated the olive ewe that comes from moderate sun exposure as an indicator that the individual wearing that tan prefers the sunlight to the shade, the outdoors to the indoors. Even beyond that, when I was younger, whenever I saw a man or a woman with a tan, say, in the middle of January in Pennsylvania where I was raised, that they were wealthy or not from the area. Why you ask regarding the first assumption? Because coming from middle class means, I did not travel much to a tropical destination if a snow shovel or rock salt had been purchased within the last (3)-(6) months. Ahh, the workings of the mind of a teenager.
Now as time progressed there has been a significant concern with the potential damages of overexposure to the sun. I completely agree, understand and heed the word of the importance of preparation as well as moderation. I do remember the summer when I was 21 or 22, and being offered my first job as a manual laborer. How bad could it be? I was athletic growing up, and being that I was extremely skinny at the time, I had seen the inside of a weight room during my freshman year of college. Now here’s the kicker; I would be employed by a local contractor who’s specialty was, you may or may not have guessed it, roofing. Yep, roofing, starting at the end of May and finishing at the end of September. I actually met the guy in a local gym and after becoming friendly with him mentioned I was looking for work for the summer. He explained that he had a small roofing outfit (business not Levis overalls and work boots) and had landed consistent jobs during the upcoming summer months. He will remain nameless though he had finished undergrad and was preparing financially for medical school; to be a neurosurgeon. Yes, a neurosurgeon. Nail gun above ground level to scrubs in the operating room? I do not think I have ever met a person that pulled that transition off. (to his credit he did complete medical school and is currently exactly where he said he would be.) I remember clearly the first day work. On the Main Line in PA we needed to tear off the existing shingle, remove all tar paper and nails and if we had time begin to lay the waterproofing material. The day started around 6:30 am with coffee and an overview of the day. We arrive at the job and then given the instruction on where to start; take the current roof off and through in the dumpster. It was like Christmas morning with the unadulterated passion of unwrapping a wrapped present that you think you know the contents of as a child. Then it happened. The sun came out strong. Now at the time I consciously or as an infant, had been present for 7,560 sunrises (just an estimate folks). Now this particular one was different as now I am three stories closer to it and within (2) hours is now my bully on the schoolyard. “Keeping working I say. The pay is good, the tan will give me the beach advantage, I am keeping in shape…..And if I quit I will NEVER hear the end of it within the confines of my local gym.” Lunch comes and goes. I have lost three lbs of water weight, my hands are cut up, and mentally I am worn, though quitting time should be by four. Then the weather report says that precipitation may cause rain tomorrow. A large tarp needs to be spread over the roof, and to save us the time if we lose a day tomorrow, we will be carrying (80) lb bags of shingles up to the lower portion of the roof’s surface. Being a statuesque 158 lbs this is just over 50% of my body weight. Thirty-eight of them. Up the ladder and returning to the ground for more. We work until 7:40 pm then go the local Wawa for a sandwich. Fast forward to getting home: After I remove my work gear, I fall asleep, sitting up in my parent’s TV room, with the aforementioned lunch meat delicacy dangling from my right hand. Years later we got together at my house and laughed about that summer. My employer admitted that the (14) hour day was a test to see if I would crack from fatigue. That day almost got the best of me but paved the road for endurance in the future. Bottom line: Sun 1 Me 0. From that day forward I had a new respect for the sun. Now having opened up to you regarding my days of laboring, the parallel of me and the sun goes much deeper.
Thought the narrative above describes the physical affects of the great ball of fire in the sky, my connection is different. From the days at my grandfather’s river-side home, to the rooftops of PA, up until this day it is not the exposure that sets my mental tone for my view of sunlight. It is knowledge that the summer months will soon be upon us. The outdoors now, at least temporarily, will be the backdrop for your weekly schedule. It is daylight for less time right now which means when the work day is over, your day feels like it is over. Whether it’s daylight playtime with your children, your co-ed softball league where you will get to see what’s her name from your office, or just feeling like with the list of (15) tasks that you need to accomplish before the day is done, the sun, during that season, allows all of these simple pleasures. Now, there is the “post-shower shiver” dance as I like to call it. You are getting ready for work, for some of us the sun may not be up at the time, and stepping from the bathroom to the chilly outside of that room, and you are telling yourself “Tonight is the night I tell my husband we are moving to Florida.” For the men in the audience, myself included, the comparable shiver is when we have just shaven our face, and before we get dressed we step out to clear off the car of the winter mess, the wind hits us like Oscar De La Hoya’s left jab. Ouch, amongst other responses. Only 172 more days of this until the summer months are upon us.
Now this is not to say there are not drawbacks to the much anticipated warmer months. Though I no longer wear a suit to work everyday, there was a time when I did. When I used to get into the car at lunch if I need to leave my office for any reason, before the AC has it’s chance to do it’s job, that one bead of sweat that hits the starch of your collar reminds me to respect the sun. Now ladies I did not say that you have it easy during these glorious months, regardless of the attire you wear to work. “You don’t understand Joe, the humidity has turned my hair into the static electricity exhibit at Philadelphia’s Please Touch Museum.” I have (2) sisters, a mother, and female friends that have explained the affects on humidity on turning a Hair-Do into the dreaded Hair-Don’t. And that’s all I have to say about that……………………………….
As we head into the next few months, though the above story traveled through memories as well as associations of this time of year, one thing remains clear. Regardless of the pros as well as cons of the summer months, the local or the shore traffic that seems unbearable, waiting for the warmer weather of summer in (6) months, there is no other season that makes me feel more alive. It could be the warmer temperature, or it could be the planned vacation or the weekend getaway with your significant other as well as your family that makes you yearn for the summer. It could also be just activities that you do during this time. A barbeque with your neighbors, your son or daughters athletics, beach, mountains or your own backyard, either way the heat from above provides the hours of the day that allows all of us the almost 30 hour day that we all wish so our respective to-do lists are actually mastered. Right now it seems like that sunlight is around us for (90) minutes, the remainder is wind-chill, frost, and being sleepy due to fall depression.
From this day forward let us all remember that regardless of the temperature on our internal thermostats, or whether it is now in December or the longest week of daylight come summertime, (hot or cold) or on the dashboard in front of us, the hours of daylight should never dictate what we make time for. Hug your children harder, wave at your neighbor longer, or love someone or something more deliberately, but most importantly make the most of every second you have, regardless of the environment around you.
Just do it.........
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