Personally, I think I was born I in the wrong era. The roaring twenties: The cars, the clothes, and into Prohibition. It seemed to be a time of “unparalleled cool.” I enjoy jazz and blues music which sprouted from the roots of the Depression. The way a man or woman carries themselves, regardless of the variables that molded the individual, will make or break the sale, the relationship or the day or evening. I think that growing up awkward I was drawn to the era in envy before interest. Though in hindsight it has created my sense of business as well as my individual style.
Moving out on my own early was my plan which I pursued though there was a learning curve that was not prepared for the transition. Then again the majority of my career was being thrown in the deep end of the pool which worked itself out. I spent my twenties in the Philadelphia area and moved to southern New Jersey five years ago. In pursuit of the almighty dollar, I worked long hours which were accompanied by bad eating and sleep patterns. At the age of 32, my doctor asks me if I am familiar with hypertension. I am not. With blood pressure at 158/95, I was on a way to a heart attack before the age of 35. At the same time I started a new job, left a relationship, and bought a house. Most people space this out over a few years; I opted to do this over a few months. At 278 lbs, though graduated high school at 138 lbs, a change was not requested, it was demanded. I dieted at the end of 2006, renewed my gym membership in January of 2007, and learned to cook. I think, better yet I know, this change not only saved my life but jump started my career transition. Through diet, exercise, lots of family support and 73 lbs off of my 6 foot frame, I was ready to move forward. When I told my father that I couldn’t stand how much it cost to have suits taken in and tailored, he shook his head and said “Many people would love to have your problem.” Point well said.
I feel that a successful life and career (happy mentally and financially), you must have a passion for what you do. Sure I would love to be a NFL linebacker, with an hourly rate of $78,000 per hour (yes, I actually did the math of some salaries) though as mentioned before a late growth spurt prevented this goal path to be accomplished. In my early twenties I was so confused about my future. I was building million dollar houses for a contractor when I thought I should be finishing undergrad and going to law school. My father told me that a strong back and a weak mind will only get you so far. That is all I needed to hear. After a few phone calls, a little luck, and a family member in the industry, I was off to start in finance. As I stated in my previous story, you don’t need to hear my resume.
I was fascinated by business and business management because you were the expert. Your client base was doctors, police officers, teachers, attorneys though overall, they were human. As almost a subconscious decision to justify my career choice and direction, I learned everything I could in a short period of time and tried to become a plethora of knowledge. Though challenging and new, it seemed to be an industry that would be constantly challenging and changing occupation which would make every day interesting. As for associating staying power with a dash of job security, regardless of the state of the stock market, the economy would be cyclical and everyone needs an expert. Now in the fitness industry, my ethics remain the same though my approach to business has grown with me.
In tying my background, personal and professional, into my goals for meeting people, personally and professionally, that is intertwined: let’s start with a template for etiquette, beyond networking etiquette, just etiquette in general:
(A.) Accept that sales of ANY kind is a tough business. There is no way around it. I am not here to revolutionize modern business. I would just like to show that hope is not a business plan and everyone needs some luck along the way. Be the Great Person that you pursue to meet everyday.
(B.) Definition of Business Networking per www.about.com: “Business Networking is the process of establishing a mutually beneficial relationship with other business people and potential clients and/or customers.” For the love of all that’s good, am I buying a lawnmower at Home Depot or speaking to a human being?
(C.) Build the relationship. We are all different. Accept this. Find common ground. After many years in the “hard-sell” sector, my recent changes are now building these relationships. I talk to fast, my suit has pinstripes, my hair is dark and sleek BUT I will find our common place.
(D.) Goals? My Goals? Goals relating to Great People Today:
a. To provide value-added service to my company, stand by my client with accountability, and if I make few friends along the way, that is a bonus.
b. Do what you say. No more, no less. People remember greatness through actions, not words.
c. Do not leave any stone unturned. Focus. Case in point: Do not ask Martha Stewart how to throw a curve ball, do not ask Emeril Lagasse if the sound in your transmission is serious, do not ask Ben Bernanke (though a brilliant economist) if spending 125-150 for a tailored shirt is too much money. Why? He is not paying your mortgage, you are.
d. And most importantly, do not ask me questions similar to a double-edged sword: If you want an answer, simply ask. In this day and age, life is too short for wasted moments. (and this coming from a salesman)
e. Never underestimate your competition or even worse say anything demeaning regarding them to a client, associate, your neighbor on on the street. Why? It screams a lack of self-confidence as well as in your product or service; It makes you look like you have come in 2nd Place your entire life; It is just bad business. Period. And and and, your competition is the motivator and reminder that you do not make mosaic pottery, and you are not the only game in town.
f. Your client does not want to be sold. They want to make an educated choice and buy it themselves. I am not saying be a pushover. Remember you are the expert.
Overall, every person we meet should, can and will shape all of us into the person we strive to be. Until next time...
Friday, November 28, 2008
Dating In Southern New Jersey
The age old phrase, “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus,” and the book of the same title, could not be truer in the South Jersey Singles Scene. Now, before you typecast me as your typical unfulfilled thirty-something professional looking for love in all of the wrong places, please stay with me for a moment. (And don’t make me beg…I hate having to fall back on bad vices.) I am that same, single professional living in southern NJ that you see at your gym, supermarket, or night spot. I have nothing to hide, just advice to give.
Just like a high school reunion, most singles scene conversations seem to unfold like a job interview. Come on now... if I wanted a copy of your resume, I would simply log on to Career Builder. If I wanted to know who you know or where you’ve traveled, I would have asked for access to your My Space, Facebook or another Social Media Marketing vehicle, or reviewed your credit card statements. It is unfortunate that these days your accomplishments now define you and what you have to offer.
I often hear men and women start a sentence with, “I want, I want, I want…” I personally want to play left-field for the New York Yankees because of the social scene, though I have not shown up at spring training in uniform nor placed a call to George Steinbrenner. Are we at the point where who you date or spend time with is now an overwhelming reflection of who you are? We all yearn to find our soul mate, the one you laugh with, cry with, dine with, sleep with, travel with, and most importantly connect with. You “get” one another. The problem is that after six months or so, what is the next step? You know almost everything about one another, so there becomes this glaring aura that I call, “minimal newness.” Therefore, what does keep the spark, the flame, the bonfire burning ever so brightly? Jazz up the role playing in intimacy? Even with this as a great stepping off point it does not prevent you from sliding back into the doldrums of the “comfortable shoe” syndrome. And for that, my worn out shoe friends, they are still searching for a cure.
So where so we go from here? Do I suggest stop going to the gym, decrease your drive to continue in your career at 150%, or simply become complacent with what you have to offer? No, not at all! Simply step back, and experience an almost out of body moment and begin to re-evaluate. I am very much a realistic, and by that I mean: What you do not like; change. If you do not want to be the tourist in jeans and a J Crew roll neck on the beaches of Avalon in the summer of 2008, join a gym. Maybe strive to advance in your career by using the 30/30 plan. Get to work 30 minutes earlier and leave 30 minutes later.
All of these suggestions should occur as a result of your personal, day to day relationships. All of us gravitate, whether we realize or not, to people, places or events that are constantly in motion. But before any of these changes are made, let’s get back to basics. Save the teleprompter answers for your interview with Oprah. Unless you can spend the weekend sleeping comfortable within its confines, $1500 a month is too much for an automobile payment and I don’t care how well it merges in traffic. Tell me about you. Tell me when you are happy, sad, or indifferent. Unfortunately, many of us, people I know, people I don't know, people all of you know, all remaining nameless to protect the innocent, think with their heads to solve today's issues though are setting themselves up for failure in the near future because the heart was not involved at all. Is this to say every conversation, relationship or decision should be based upon your horoscope with your internal compass revolving around lollipops and puppy dogs? Absolutely not! Easier said done, find the balance between the two. Be true to yourself. If we become reliant on others emotionally, financially, spiritually or whatever, we then in turn lose part of ourselves. The potential all of us are destined to reach is now suffocated, and falling to the wayside. Moving forward into 2009, whether as you dating, network or simply make friends within in your social circle, proceed with an open heart, with and open mind, confident and independent, and with your eyes focused on your dreams. Until next time..
Just like a high school reunion, most singles scene conversations seem to unfold like a job interview. Come on now... if I wanted a copy of your resume, I would simply log on to Career Builder. If I wanted to know who you know or where you’ve traveled, I would have asked for access to your My Space, Facebook or another Social Media Marketing vehicle, or reviewed your credit card statements. It is unfortunate that these days your accomplishments now define you and what you have to offer.
I often hear men and women start a sentence with, “I want, I want, I want…” I personally want to play left-field for the New York Yankees because of the social scene, though I have not shown up at spring training in uniform nor placed a call to George Steinbrenner. Are we at the point where who you date or spend time with is now an overwhelming reflection of who you are? We all yearn to find our soul mate, the one you laugh with, cry with, dine with, sleep with, travel with, and most importantly connect with. You “get” one another. The problem is that after six months or so, what is the next step? You know almost everything about one another, so there becomes this glaring aura that I call, “minimal newness.” Therefore, what does keep the spark, the flame, the bonfire burning ever so brightly? Jazz up the role playing in intimacy? Even with this as a great stepping off point it does not prevent you from sliding back into the doldrums of the “comfortable shoe” syndrome. And for that, my worn out shoe friends, they are still searching for a cure.
So where so we go from here? Do I suggest stop going to the gym, decrease your drive to continue in your career at 150%, or simply become complacent with what you have to offer? No, not at all! Simply step back, and experience an almost out of body moment and begin to re-evaluate. I am very much a realistic, and by that I mean: What you do not like; change. If you do not want to be the tourist in jeans and a J Crew roll neck on the beaches of Avalon in the summer of 2008, join a gym. Maybe strive to advance in your career by using the 30/30 plan. Get to work 30 minutes earlier and leave 30 minutes later.
All of these suggestions should occur as a result of your personal, day to day relationships. All of us gravitate, whether we realize or not, to people, places or events that are constantly in motion. But before any of these changes are made, let’s get back to basics. Save the teleprompter answers for your interview with Oprah. Unless you can spend the weekend sleeping comfortable within its confines, $1500 a month is too much for an automobile payment and I don’t care how well it merges in traffic. Tell me about you. Tell me when you are happy, sad, or indifferent. Unfortunately, many of us, people I know, people I don't know, people all of you know, all remaining nameless to protect the innocent, think with their heads to solve today's issues though are setting themselves up for failure in the near future because the heart was not involved at all. Is this to say every conversation, relationship or decision should be based upon your horoscope with your internal compass revolving around lollipops and puppy dogs? Absolutely not! Easier said done, find the balance between the two. Be true to yourself. If we become reliant on others emotionally, financially, spiritually or whatever, we then in turn lose part of ourselves. The potential all of us are destined to reach is now suffocated, and falling to the wayside. Moving forward into 2009, whether as you dating, network or simply make friends within in your social circle, proceed with an open heart, with and open mind, confident and independent, and with your eyes focused on your dreams. Until next time..
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